Updates

So as I said before chemo went well. Until the Monday afterwards. I got pretty sick and had to leave work. Mostly it was diarhea, which I have meds for so I got back on track by Tuesday.
By this time I also started to develop a rash, which has turned out to be a type of acne. This is a reaction to the herceptin. Herceptin attacks a protein that my type of cancer uses more aggressively, but also this is a protein your skin needs too. So I now have an acne prescription too. This isnt normal acne, it covers my neck, chest and now face and scalp. It is painful and annoying.
Got some more emails from G. He seems to be truly happy and moving forward. He keeps implying he is seeing someone and wants to tell me about it. This is so hard to hear as I still love him. But since I do love him I really want him happy. I told him I probably need to hear about this new person in his life because I need to move forward too. I keep thinking that somehow we will get back together. But that sort of thing doesn't just "happen". Boy do I still need to really grow up. If I wanted to get back together I would probably actually have to tell him that ... uh yeah.
He went on about how he has moved forward because I havent needed him so far through this cancer thing, and he sees now that I am ok without him. So I of course blabbed how I do need him I just wont allow myself to actually ask for his help. This is the truth but may have totally beena killjoy to his new attitude in life. I should have been able to keep my mouth shut and let him bask in his happiness, I have a way to go in the growth department. I want to be able to feel joy in his joy, but its hard.